Forgetting Jesus
Jesus has long been my confidant when God just seems too big, too busy, too far away. Jesus has always made sense to me. He lived on this earth, experienced the bittersweet that is life. He cried (more on that later), got sick, was betrayed by friends. He was fully human. And so when I feel like maybe God is just a little bit out there, Jesus always makes sense.
And yet today I forgot about Jesus. Not completely. I woke up thinking about how it was Good Friday and how I should probably carve out some time to rest in the presence of God or to sit at the feet of Jesus, something Good Fridayish. But then Lilah woke up screaming, I burnt my eggs at breakfast, Eric got home around lunch time to let me escape. And all of a sudden my to do list was way more important. It was Loooonnngggg and I was itching to check off all my boxes (literally).
I just happened to be texting with my cousin this afternoon who is one of my mama peeps-she keeps me sane, and on track, and in the know since she’s seasoned. She told me about a beautiful service she had gone to this morning and I immediately thought, “oh right, Jesus. I should probably make time for him today” and then I literally cringed at myself. Ugh. I’m doing it again! My to do list is light years ahead of my desire to sit with Jesus.
But despite the fact that I might have missed the mark a little bit today, there are two things that I found myself thinking about all day today:
1. Jesus wept (okay this isn’t technically the Easter story, but who cares)
2. Jesus had help carrying his cross.
“Jesus wept (John 11:35)” has always been one of my favorite verses. It’s even proudly displayed in our living room. People give me all sorts of odd looks when they see it and the bolder ones ask if it’s an inside joke. Seems a little bit dismal, huh? Well not to me. This little verse screams HOPE to me. I feel like a kindred spirit with this Jesus, the one who cries when life is scary and sad just like me. I can get behind a God who cries, yes I can.
Similarly I love the image of a man from the crowd, carrying Jesus’ cross for him. Hallelujah, it’s not just me, the God of the universe has help when times get tough!
Last week was a nasty one for me for many many reasons. One of those weeks where you’re just barely bobbing above the surface of the chaos. I had a few meltdowns, and then a few more. I begged Eric not to go to work, and cried myself to sleep. That kind of a week. Eventually I called upon my friends, although it took me a while to get there. And they came through so beautifully! But I wish I would have remembered this piece from the Easter story-that Jesus needed help too. He couldn’t carry the weight of the world on his own, he was tired. I hope that I will remember this next time (because for sure there will be a next time) and I won’t hesitate to call on the people around me when I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
People, religion is messy, scary, really disappointing a lot of times. But I can honestly say that Jesus has always been a constant. He gets it, he’s been there, he knows. And so when nothing else makes sense, I will call on him.
So glad your dad shared this for us to read!! Excellent blog post. Keep being real.
….and as a fellow mom, some encouragement . It gets better, really it does. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re amazing.
With love to you all the from the other side of the planet. I’m a South African living in Dubai .
Thank you so much for reading and for your encouragement!
This is a post I may read over and over – and oh how it is an Easter story – HOPE – Jesus wept over those He loved – then went to the cross for those He loved – and rose again for those He loves.
Blessings for this great reminder.
AMEN! Thanks for reading!
I’ve been comforted many times by “Jesus wept.” I’ve also been comforted that Jesus escaped the crowds, didn’t heal everyone, and fell asleep. But I never thought about how he needed help with the cross. Thanks for adding to my list.
Oh yes! The fact that he was human is oh so comforting indeed!